GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
