He had one of those small greek statue penises
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
