New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
