Say something about gay babies.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
