True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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