And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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