I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
