dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize