So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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