Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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