Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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