It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
