I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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