I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
