Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
