Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
