my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
