I have demons in me.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
