I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
