I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
