Kiss
Puke
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
