thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
