He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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