I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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