its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
