If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
