is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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