tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
