just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
