i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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