I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
