I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
