thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
