Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
