How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
