I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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