k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
