So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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