hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
