I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
