Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She even gives head with a lisp.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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