why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
