that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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