he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
