They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
