Hey man sorry I got all grabby
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
