Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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