i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
