so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
