Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
