You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
