her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
