Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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