And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
