I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
