OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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