Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
