I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize