Grow some girl-balls and come out already
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
