Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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