my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
