i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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